Wednesday, 14 September 2011

The Balloon Seller

(HB pencil on 125mm x 75mm note paper)
- NOT AVAILABLE -
 
Don't expect this old balloon seller to be made into a Royal Doulton figure anytime soon!

Nobody knows her name, but she does have her own unique way with children. If they misbehave, she'll start by taking away their pets - one by one. If they still persist in being unruly, then she'll take away their parents - one by one. Sooner or later they learn manners and morals. If they don't, and they grow up into misbehaving adults, then she punishes them by cutting off their hands - one by one.
But mostly, she sells balloons.

 

Saturday, 27 August 2011

The Numen-Deus OMNI PASSCARD (Xonu)

(Blue biro on 125mm x 75mm memo paper)

It looks a bit mad does this one, and you might think it looks shit, but I quite like the crudeness of it. It's more of a transmorphic piece (meaning I just let it grow as I was working on it). On the back of it I've written:

Little is known of these mystic cards of power. Where are they from? Who are Numen-Deus? And why does each one have it's own unique name? What is known, however, is that if you're lucky enough to obtain one, you gain access to anything, anyone, anywhere, and anywhen in the entire universe. All barriers removed. All doors unlocked. All impossibilities made possible* Or, to use the Numen-Deus line:

"ALL THINGS SHALL BE LAID OPEN"

But only the original can do this, and they are rare. A sanctioned copy can bring the bearer good fortune, whereas an unsanctioned one will bring nothing but bad*

*And if you believe that rubbish, you'll believe anything!

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Friday, 12 August 2011

Seti Rapunzel

6EQUJ5 - WOW!
(Black biro on 125mm x 75mm memo paper)
- NOT AVAILABLE -

A SETI themed image.

If she tried a little harder and just took a few risks, then she might escape from her self-imposed, archaic tower prison. Perhaps then she could expand on her limited knowledge of the universe. But she chose the easier option of staying, preferring to let her long hair flail chaotically in the wind with messages tied to the ends. In her mind, someone's bound to notice in time. She hasn't been doing this long and she's already weary of it.
Once, she was wowed by a vague contact, but she heard nothing more from it and her letter for it has slipped from her hand. She only just holds onto the letter for that "special" contact, the one she hopes will bring her complete salvation. But that too may be lost if she loses all interest.

The trouble with the waiting game is that it's not as easy as she first thought. She's still far too young, far too impatient, and her hair is still far too short to make contact. And when that time comes, if ever, it will only be through chance.

----------

I had one or two problems with this piece. I'm not talking about the mistake on the left hand (which looks odd, I know, but I never worry about such things). I'm talking about when I came to laminate it. The damn thing mangled in the laminator! The only way I could remove the piece was to take the laminator apart, which I did, destroying it in the process. The artwork was in one piece and I managed to peel off the laminate pouch as, thankfully, it wasn't stuck on that well. But it had been creased. Best thing I could do was put it in another laminating pouch and iron-laminate to flatten it. There's still a couple of creases running down the middle, but it's alright. I'm just glad I scanned it first. Considering the loss of the laminator, this has to be the most expensive skav art piece so far!


Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Neighbourhood Watcher

(HB pencil on a 140mm x 90mm postcard)
- NOT AVAILABLE -

Every home should have a pet dragon. On the back I've written:

In the five years we've had Sparky, he's been no problem at all. He barely needs feeding, unlike those two greedy jack russells we used to have, which cost a fortune in food and vet bills. But they disappeared a few years ago, along with many other pets and small animals that have mysteriously vanished from our estate in recent years. The police have been baffled by it. The last one happened the other day when Mrs Whelen's pedigree golden retriever was snatched from her back garden, She'd only turned her back on it for a second when she suddenely heard it yelp and then nothing. So whoever it is that's stealing these animals is very quick and very professional, and they seem to only target our area. It's a shame Sparky hasn't seen this phantom pet snatcher, because he's good at keeping guard. There's been no burglaries or vandalism since he's been around. Fair enough, there have been incidents where kids have received serious burns, but that should teach them not to throw stones at him.

Sparky's even got himself a special neighbourhood watch award for his services to the community. We took him down to the police station where he received it. I remember it well, because it was the same day that one of their police dogs went missing.
 

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Eric Flashbone

(Black biro on 74mm x 51mm card)

Just a strange character that I did on a small off-cut piece of card (I don't like to waste anything!)

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Small House For Sale

(black biro on 97mm x 74mm memo paper)

You see alot of abandoned drinks cans left by people who haven't figured out the complexities of using a nearby bin. Either that or they're giving shelter to tiny people. On the back of this one I've written:

"An abandoned local landmark renovated into a cosy little home fit for one person or young couple. Set in a prime window-ledge location, overlooking a panoramic view of a back yard. A good tolerance of cats, rats, and pigeons is essential."

And Then The Little Boy Said...

(Fineliner pen on a 85mm x 55mm business card)
- NOT AVAILABLE -
 
I accidently destroyed this by putting it in a shredder with some paper. Luckily, I'd scanned it first, but it still pissed me off.

Monday, 1 August 2011

Dr. Franz Riktor - Professional Vampire Hunter

(HB pencil on 71mm x 44mm paper)

He's a well prepared vampire hunter. He even wears a neck collar to stop himself from being bitten.
I thought I'd also use this image for my avatar for the time being.


Chuckin' Out Time At The Cough Inn Pub

(Black biro on 105mm x 74mm card)

For the first post in this blog, I thought I'd go for an image that is more of a social satire on a disappearing way of life. On the back I've written:

"With all the pubs closing down, you're more likely to see sights similar to this in town and city centres these days. But when the average local was more frequented, you'd see such diabolical creatures lurching along the roads and footpaths of estates, late at night, with only a confused homing pigeon instinct left for an intellect. Pale, dishevelled, and grunting incoherently. It's difficult to believe that these mindless shades were once rational human beings. Nevermind the complete and utter horror that they could be people you once knew."

I think the regular late night plague of "pub zombies" that was common across the UK has greatly diminished over the past years. Maybe that's a good or bad thing, I dunno.