(Blue biro on a 139mm x 87mm postcard)
I made a massive mistake in submitting this to this year's Royal Academy of Arts Summer Exhibition. I don't know why I did it because I knew it wouldn't stand a chance. I'd have had more hope if I'd flushed the entry fee down the toilet, but I thought it would be a good laugh to enter it. I'd forgotten that the artworld doesn't do humour.
It's a piece that deals with clichés. The image in the top left shows tins of peaches, plums, bananas, pineapple chunks and a bag of grapes. In other words, it's a painting of a bowl of fruit. Towards the top right you see a reclining nude that looks to have been painted by a peeping-tom looking through binoculars. This is pretty much what paintings of such nudes used to be a long time ago - pervy porn for the wealthy. These two ideas would've worked well on their own, but I thought they might do well here.
Other images you see parody other types of painting subjects. Centre-right, you see the portrait of a girl picking her nose out of sheer boredom, as if she's just been "snap-painted" in that pose. At the bottom, you can see a common "chocolate box" style painting of a nice little cottage in the countryside that so many dream of living in to escape the hustle and bustle of city life. But, in this case, it's on fire and no-one's putting it out, proving that remote country cottages aren't so appealing when basic services can't get to them. Next to it is a more modernist image of a face which looks in a state of shock that it's been put on the same wall as all the others. Although that shock may be due to the realisation that it's now very much a part of that stuffy art establishment it's style once rebelled against. And in the centre is a crude image that's been sellotaped to the wall. I have that there to represent the piece as a whole. For those that don't understand skav art. Who may think that it's unsuitable for a place like the Royal Academy (and they're probably right).