FRENCH TEACHERS ARE ALIENS!

(Gel Fineliner on A5 Paper)

 Consider the evidence I present before you....

...We should all be able to speak French to a decent level. We're able to read, write and do basic maths (unless, of course you suffer from that debilitating condition known as being “completely thick”) yet we struggle with French. The reason for this is simple – French teachers are aliens!

They seem reluctant to teach the language properly, and speak French themselves in a very peculiar way, usually with pursed lips, so that a simple “bonjour monsieur” comes out as: “boonjeooo moosyooo” and they have a fixation with “the sky being blue” or “the grass being green” or even “the bus being red.”

To even attempt to learn French from any of these alien fiends would be a mistake. The moment you opened your mouth (with pursed lips) to any French national would result in hysterical laughter, because no-one in France speaks in such a demented way.

It's hard to know what their nefarious plans are after all these years. It is speculated that they have seen the future and know that an Anglo-French union would result in an empire which would span the galaxy, and are here to prevent it. It's very clever and they've gotten away with it until now, because now we're onto you!

Either that, or they're just shit at their jobs.

You decide!

In the meantime, adieu, mes amis! Or, as one of these aliens would say: “Eeuuhdyooo, Muuhz Ooomeee!”