ARCHIE FELTCH - British Heroes

 

(2B pencil on 180mm x 136mm paper)

"They're not flag-waving wannabes, or finger-pointing blamemongers. They're true British Heroes! They were born with spines of steel, have spunk by the bucketload, and their upper-lips aren't just stiff, they're rock-solid! They're the type who'll kick those mad-dogs aside and proudly march, bare-arsed, into the midday sun!"

You always get someone like Archie Feltch around. You just can't fathom how it's possible. Well, now you've got "Black Hole Theory" to explain it!

ROBBIE "Wee Jobbie" McFUD - British Heroes

 

(2B pencil on 136mm x 125mm paper)

"They're not flag-waving wannabes, or finger-pointing-blamemongers. They're true British Heroes! They were born with spines of steel, have spunk by the bucketload, and their upper-lips aren't just stiff, they're rock-solid! They're the type who'll kick those mad-dogs aside and proudly march, bare-arsed, into the midday sun!"

What makes a "survivor" these days? It used to be something horrific, but now if you shit your pants you can call yourself one!

BRYAN BUMMINGTON - British Heroes

 

(2B pencil on 140mm x 130mm paper)

"They're not flag-waving wannabes, or finger-pointing-blamemongers. They're true British Heroes! They were born with spines of steel, have spunk by the bucketload, and their upper-lips aren't just stiff, they're rock-solid! They're the type who'll kick those mad-dogs aside and proudly march, bare-arsed, into the midday sun!"

We must all accept "God's Will"

SONJA NADSAX - British Heroes

 

(2B pencil on 158mm x 137mm paper)

"They're not flag-waving wannabes, or finger-pointing-blamemongers. They're true British Heroes! They were born with spines of steel, have spunk by the bucketload, and their upper-lips aren't just stiff, they're rock-solid! They're the type who'll kick those mad-dogs aside and proudly march, bare-arsed, into the midday sun!"

Revolutions do start with the simplest of things, and the unlikeliest of people.

SHARDONAY JIZZBY - British Heroes

 

(2B pencil on 147mm x 133mm paper)

"They're not flag-waving wannabes, or finger-pointing-blamemongers. They're true British Heroes! They were born with spines of steel, have spunk by the bucketload, and their upper-lips aren't just stiff, they're rock-solid! They're the type who'll kick those mad-dogs aside and proudly march, bare-arsed, into the midday sun!"

Flashes of genius can come from the most unlikely people at the strangest of times. The beauty of it is that it thoroughly annoys those who work far too hard to try and achieve the same thing.

PHIL

(Gel Fineliner on A5 Paper)

“Wait...Did you just call me Phil? I'm a multi-dimensional higher being, you ignorant little tit! You don't just call someone like me PHIL! I was about to share the fruits of my knowledge with your species, ushering in a new age which would have been a significant step in human evolution, but now you can all PISS RIGHT OFF! You humans deserve to wipe yourselves out!”

It is widely believed that humanity constantly subdues itself with lazy misunderstandings like this.

MOVING HOUSE

 

(Gel Fineliner on A5 paper)

Still keeping the works "vanilla" with these Inktober submissions (not following the prompt words).

This is a simple image of a small house on legs. It didn't really take me that long to do, but the result is quite good.

COMMANDER KRO

 

(Gel Fineliner on A5 paper)

A piece I drew for Inktober 2024 (Day 3) giving some realistic encouragement to others taking part in, what is, a fairly pointless challenge. Some do fall by the wayside, though. Not their fault. It's a lot to invest in by doing a month's worth of drawings, such as time and the cost of materials, which is why I chose to use the cheapest I could find to complete it.

But I do that anyway.

THE DARK WITCH

(Gel Fineliner on A5 paper)

 I don't know whether you know it, but I'm actually an acolyte of the famous 19th century occultist Professor Dougal MacKenzie. He's famous for creating a method of prophecy called “SheeTap” which combines all esoteric knowledge on the subject into one way of doing things. It's something which I feel I'm now quite adept at. The “Mackenzie SheeTap” technique has served me well, and it's something that anyone can learn with a bit of practice. It wouldn't surprise me if many others in occult circles use the “MacKenzie SheeTap” way for fortune telling, as it is quite common.

I've even used it for this piece, showing some disaster that's vague on detail. But take heart, as there does seem to be some hope of averting it in what she's pointing to with her left hand (stage right). It looks to be some sort of ring. Either that or she can be subdued with a packet of Polo mints (not Mentos).

MAD DOG

(Gel Fineliner on A5 Paper)

 One of the age-old responses from dog-owners: “He won't bite you” along with “He's good with children.”

He's a dog, and like all dogs, they're bred from wolves. Given half the chance they'd revert back to their natural pack instinct. The only reason they don't is that they see you as the pack leader who regularly feeds and pampers them.

“Oh, my little darling isn't like that!” I hear you say, as if you're talking about a child. “He gives me kisses by licking my face. It's his way of saying how much he loves me.”

He licks his balls and arsehole with that tongue, so what's he really saying there?

The first prompt-word for Inktober2024 was "backpack" in the suspiciously themed list that was released last month. As in the preview post I made last, I decided not to bother with them and go "vanilla" with them all by drawing whatever I wanted each day.

VANILLA GIRL - Inktober2024 Preview

(Gel Fineliner on A5 Paper)

Challenges like Inktober aren't something I usually take part in, but I thought I'd have a bit of fun with it this year.

When The Black-Sun Knight Got Tongued

 

(2B pencil on 85mm x 65mm paper)

It's a smaller dreamscape piece, and I wasn't going to keep it, but I did like the title I gave it!

The Porcupine

 

(Gel Fineliner on a 139mm x 87mm postcard)

"Balderdash! We're not namby-pamby elves! We use LIVE moving targets in the Imperial Dwarf Legion. That's why we're so damned good with a crossbow. It's quite safe, I assure you. We don't lose that many. Target strapped to their backs, straw padding. What more could they ask for? It's good exercise for them, but the steel boots are needed to slow them down just a tad. A dwarf can move at a fair pace when being shot at, and this can be unsporting on new recruits trying to hit them.

"Of course, only volunteers are allowed to be live targets, but there are always those more than willing to step forward. Especially lazy little bastards who are always late for muster!"

- General Thurgan Stormfoot -

Silas Grimbeard

 

(Fineliner on 115mm x 87mm paper)

A grumpy dwarf wizard, travelling with his feathery familiar.

This piece was done to try out some cheap gel fineliner pens I'd just bought, and they seem to work quite well, giving a good line and a decent opaque finish to the black areas. Not bad considering they're 3 for £1!

Merry Christmas 2023: DICKIE DUGGS

 

(HB Pencil on 120mm x 90mm paper)

For the artwork and story for this year's Christmas card, I've focused on a hapless stand-up comedian, and how not believing in fairies can be very bad for your health!

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And you can read the stories from previous Christmas cards by just clicking on each of the years below:

2014 - 2015 - 2016 - 2017 - 2018 - 2019 - 2020 - 2021 - 2022

Merry Christmas 2022: THE QUIET LADY

 

2B Pencil on 160mm x 140mm paper

It's that time of year again, and again I've done another image for the Christmas cards I give out to people. This time, though, the story is written by that famous northern novelist, Archie Felch. You may not have read any of his books and, after reading his take on Christmas stories, you probably won't want to, but enjoy it nevertheless.

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Previous Christmas card images and stories can be found below:

2014 - 2015 - 2016 - 2017 - 2018 - 2019 - 2020 - 2021

The Old Librarian

(fineliner on 190mm x 130mm paper)

This was a pen sketch that I did last year which I decided to finish-off a little more. The initial idea of it was a bookish, wizard-like, individual who was something of a travelling library, and wore one of his books as a hat.

The Clueless Wizard

 

(2B pencil on 110mm x 81mm paper)

An odd dreamscape piece which produced the unlikely pair of characters of a wizard and, what looks like, a rocker, with the wizard having trouble deciphering a magic scroll he's been given. The rocker doesn't look too impressed!